In Memory of My Loving Father

On this year Wesak Day (17th May 2011) is my most unforgettable day of my life, my loving father passed away on this day while I was still on duty in Abu Dhabi.

It was the most heartbroken moment when I received the news, I wasn't beside him when he left us. The pain really can't be explained, I was so down and blaming myself that did not spend more time with him in recent years.

My father, is the best man I ever seen in my life, he did lots of good deeds in his entire life for the family, siblings and friends. Although he wasn't highly educated, but his hard works, his sacrifices, his kindness were far better than anyone else who are rich and highly educated.

Remember I was a kid, we weren't talk much as he was sacrificing his time to work more just enough to feed the family, but when anyone of us fell sick or hurt, he'll tried his best to arrange his time to come back and comfort us quietly while we were sleeping, he just never showed it directly, but his heart does.

I don't think words can explain about my good dad here, there were too many old days stories which I will not manage to write here, but all are still in my memories, I'll cherish every moments that we had forever...

I always do my best to work harder like him, and pay him and mom back by taking care of them, let them happy always and no worries, but... out of sudden, I wasn't achieve what I wanted, I feel I'm so useless!

I can't continue anymore as I can't hold my tears... allow me to express my words from my heart...

Dad, I really miss you,
I'll carrying your good deed spirits for my entire life,
I promise you I'll be strong and move forward,
I promise you I won't disappoint you,
I promise you I'll taking care of mom, brothers and myself...
Dad, you are the best I ever had!

I LOVE YOU DAD!!!

** To all my relatives, colleagues and friends, my family and I wish to express our deepest gratitude for your support and presence during our time of bereavement.

Nostalgic

Note: These pictures were taken by my cousin brother Andrew Ng who also crazy on photography. All these objects were taken in my hometown house, like we always said picture tells thousand words, but all these can tell me million words...

I grew up in this house when I was just few months old. What a great masterpiece work by my cousin brother, to me all these pictures are really touchy.

Pictures by: Andrew Ng
Gear: Canon 40D + Canon 50mm f1.4

Nostalgic

Life Goes On...

First of all I would like to thank all of you who has given wishes to me & my working company on the unlawful termination of my working project, currently we are working very hard to overcome this matter.

This will not to be the end of the world, as like my Managing Director said... 'Don't be upset, don't hate them, they won't feel it, we will only hurt ourselves if hate them. Stay strong and look forward, there are so many successes to be achieved in future. Take it as a good lesson'. I really want to put off my hat and salute him, even the bad situation now he still can stay strong. He knows that we'd fought so hard so far and this is not our failure.

Right now the project is taking over by consultants, it's not an easy task for a consultant to take over as a contractor job. Let's see how long they can manage it, man power is the priority for this project to coordinate the works, sources for building materials are not that easy to get here and it's not easy to deal with suppliers here.

Anyway, let's forget about it, right now I really have a hard feeling on all my colleagues who together for some time here, we are like best friends in this society, now suddenly all will gone to different directions. Normally in any projects, the transfer will by stages, so you won't feel so hard on it, now I really can't take it, I'll miss they all who will be transferred to different project site from me.

Last day at site office

Our strong team, for final gathering dinner...

It's easy to say goodbye to someone, because you'll meet the someone again in future. There is something that very hard for me to say goodbye to... that is our working project! I started the tender till kick start the project, growing with the project and now being terminated. There is no turning back unless miracle happens, or leave the company to join them. To me I'll never join them forever in my life, I rather to work in other fields if I'm jobless in construction field.

Goodbye...

For your info, I'll be transferred to Abu Dhabi after my Chinese New Year holiday, that's the latest news I had, but I'll traveling from Dubai to Abu Dhabi dairy for work after this. I really scared when think about it, it takes more than 1 1/2 hours to work and back home, just like when I came here in first few months, I was traveling from Abu Dhabi to Dubai for work. Company just rented apartments here with 1 year contract, so we have to stay in Dubai in order not to waste company's rental fee.

I was hoping company will send me back to Malaysia to work, but they still need more staffs in overseas, so I got no choice and have to accept it, it's better than jobless like others now days. Actually I'm pleased that I still got my job and I'm ready to take the new challenge now!

Keep Fighting!!!

R.I.P. Richard Wright

Another shocking news I received today regarding to one of the members of my all time favorite rock band - Pink Floyd, Richard Wright has died (15th Sept 2008) at the age of 65 after battling cancer.

I'm really sad when I knew it from my old friend who commented in my previous post, it's hard to believe it, I was really hope to see Pink Floyd reunion which is possible to happen soon, but now... my dream is over!!! The voice and keyboard of Pink Floyd just leaving us.

Richard Wright (Photo taken from David Gilmour Website)

The self-taught keyboardist and pianist who has created lots of fine art of music during his career with Pink Floyd. I always love to hear his touched of music especially 'Echoes', 'The Great Gig in The Sky', 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond', 'Us and Them', and many more.

Rick is joining another co-founder of Pink Floyd, Syd Barrett who passed away 2 years ago. It's a great lost for the music industry, another legendary musician has just left the musical world. I believe all Pink Floyd fans are sad to hear about it.

I don't know how to express my sadness now, I'll always remember his touched of music. Below are my tribute to Richard Write with his fine touch of keyboard...

Pink Floyd - The Great Gig In The Sky (PULSE)

Thank You Rick...
Goodbye Rick...
R.I.P. Rick...

Working Life in UAE

I guess everyone is admiring people like me got chance to work in Dubai or anywhere in middle east, here I wanted to highlight many things that I'm NOT so enjoy to work in middle east.

Don't just mention about salary, of course it will be higher than what we got in Malaysia, but at my side I'm not earning as much as you all thought. Many were asking me am I earning more than RM 20K per month? Here I'm telling you all the truth, I'm earning LESS than RM 10K as per market rate. I've checked from many sources that my position in current market rate is at least RM 15K per month, so... I'm not in a good position as you all think about.

Posing with project's poster

Working with those middle east people also another problem, I don't want to emphasizing more about it, all I can say is harder than as I can imagine. What I can do now is just be patience, anyway, it also depend my limit, I may give up in the half way. Imagine we are doing a mega project worth RM 4.6 billion, but yet they can't provide us a basic facilities accordingly such as internet access, transportation, printers, photocopy machine and etc... furthermore the company want us to contribute more output, come on... you can't even willing to provide us a proper working tools how do we contribute it?

View of my construction site

I really sacrifice my good life from Malaysia to Dubai, actually I wasn't volunteer to come but my working company is kinda forcing me to work here, I got no more choices so gave myself a chance to start a new life, who knows it ended up so bad and it really de-motivate me. I can't have my freedom as I had in Malaysia which I wanted to go anywhere, anytime as I like, now my royalty is like getting from less to zero to work here, what I got before no longer with me anymore, too many higher level staffs are coming in and me just a 'slave' will get nothing in the end.

Talking about 'slave', I can really feel we are a slave in this region, here doesn't have 'Labours' Day' holiday, what I felt now I'm not a worker here, I'm just a slave which worst than a labour. I can't comment about it since I'm working in other country, it's not under my control anyway. My life here only work, eat, then sleep and it repeats everyday. Most of the time I really forget what day I'm in, now I really don't know today is what day...

Massive construction

I really miss my old days in Malaysia, I can hangout with friends anytime, now I just facing with my colleagues everyday, everyone has their own directions and I really feel so lonely all the time. Friends for me is very important, now I really lost touch with all my friends in Malaysia, sometimes I really think is that worth to have this kind of life?

Now at least we found an activities during weekend eve (Thursday), finally we found badminton courts in Dubai, we're playing it everyday Thursday evening after work to release loads of tensions. Anyway, it's not enough for me, the golf courses here also very expensive for me to practice in driving range. I really pissed with it and I'm going to die with bored.

Badminton session, I was doing jumping smash to release my tensions, can see how tension am I

After deep thought, I really got no road to turn back, the rules here is very strict, I can't simply just resign and come back, company already set the rules which I have to pay back the visa fees and the worst part is they'll never give me the NOC, I'll be black listed in UAE for certain period. This situation really put myself like a slave in this reality world. I think I'll never have my life back for a long long time, my dream to build my own family will be gone if I really stuck here forever.

I can't denied that men will put their career at first, I'm one of them, but now with my situation, I really don't know should I put it first? I really entered into wrong field, construction field is not an ideal field as before anymore, you have to sacrifice more than you contributed to earn back what you wanted to, I'm in this field almost 10 years and I still never see any brighter future in it. What's wrong with my working life? Why I lost my passion with my work recently? I really can't find my answer.

What A Working Life!!!

Leaving Again

Well... I really no idea how to start this post, you should know how is my feeling now, I'm leaving Malaysia tonight and back to Dubai after almost 2 weeks holiday in my homeland.

This trip really very busy for myself, I just keep meeting up with friends, bloggers, ex-colleagues, ex-coursemate, ex-bosses, colleagues, bosses, family members... I felt myself like a GRO, running here and there, repeating to answer all questions about my work in Dubai.

Very sorry to those I haven't meet up, my time really too limited this time, really no time to seek a girlfriend lor if everytime like that... Hahaha.

Anyway, it was my most meaningful trip to come back for holiday, my 2 childhood friends are getting married soon, my best friends also register today in KL, I wish them all happy forever and all the best!

Now I'm looking forward on my next trip to come back to Malaysia, if everything go smooth I'll back again for holiday after 6 months from now. Maybe I'll back on time to join the "Together-Gather Bloggers Party II" which planned to held it in August 2008, so see you all in the TGG2 party yah!

Penang Bridge

Can someone kidnapping me ah? So I no need go back to Dubai lor... Ahaa... Really missed everything here, my parents, family members, friends... and also foods!!! Time really flies, I felt I just came back 2-3 days only, in fact it's already 2 weeks long. Anyway, don't miss me or worry of me so much, I'll be fine when I get back to work in Dubai.

Miss You All!!!

Leaving... Goodbye

Time really flies, I just came back less than a week and now I have to say goodbye to all my family members and my friends in Malaysia. I don't know how to describe the feeling now...

Who say rockers are not sentimental? Actually I just love rock musics but inside my heart is damn sentimental. I really hold my tears so badly now to update this post now, allow me a bit emo can or not?

Thanks to all my blogger buddies for the karaoke session, we really felt like came out from jail, it was the best laughing session so far with you guys, really wish to have it again on my next trip back ok?

Crazy moment with Ah Boon, CKYeo, Myself, Han, Golfnick, Wingz & Dale

At night, I met up with my hometown old best friends to have dinner, the 2 pair of couples now both doing very well, a couple gonna upgraded to be father and mother, congratulations to them first. The another couple will flying off soon for better life, I really wish you both well and have a better life in Canada.

Day two was classic, I was surrounding by girls! Somemore they named themselves as 3J(s) sound like Malaysian's Charlie's Angels. Remember my previous post before I came back that I said I don't have G-string? They really bought a damn sexy G-string for me! Anyway... I still haven't wear it and I don't plan to wear it, I'll keep it well as my best ever souvenir... Haha.

(Picture taken from Huei's Blog)
Huei, Jace, myself and Julieann

At night, again with my one of my old best friend couple for dinner. Imagine we all used to hang up together for so many years, now everyone have to far apart, I really don't know how to take it. Anyway, everyone is leaving for good, I'm sure we all will meet again with better prospect in future.

Day three I hanged out with my another good blogger's friend Princess Eileen before a day she's leaving to Germany for few months. It was a great outing and we did have a very long 8 kong 8 poh session... haha. Anyway, I wish her all the best there. Wish we can meet up again somehow somewhere.

Camwhore with Princess Eileen

In the late night, it was the most hard feeling for me to say goodbye to my housemate, my buddy, my ex-coursemate/classmate, my ex-colleague... We both together fighting for study and career for so many years, now we have to far apart. All I can say is... All the best to you... Kalai, and I wish you will be upgraded very soon in your career and become a father soon. Don't forget to 'yam seng' again when we meet again ok?

Me & Kalai... Yam seng session at home

Now I'm at home in Butterworth, I really wanted to stay more longer here. I really miss my family members and my relatives here. I also miss all the foods here.... argh!!! Anyway... I believe tomorrow will be another better day for all, see you all again in future!

My flight will be on Friday (4.30am), so I have to go back to KL on Thursday evening and have to go to KLIA by midnight. This trip really was the most tired (shifting house) and most memorable in my life so far.

Goodbye All...

Night at Jumeirah 3 Beach

Don't know what to say... just post up some pictures that I took few weeks back at Jumeirah Beach 3.

Jumeirah Hotel (left) & Burj Al Arab (Right)

Burj Al Arab

Have A Nice Day To You All!!!

Confused, Lost & Blur

Time really flies, I just realised that I'm already two weeks in UAE, maybe I have to work 7 days a week here and even work at home too, so I never felt the time goes so fast, anyway... what day is today? Damn! I really forgot what day is today.

Before this I thought my stay will be 2 to 3 weeks or a month, now it looks like very unlikely. I really getting worried and unwell with this situation. Few days back someone raised up in a meeting said that I'm happy and willing to work in UAE for full time, my boss asked me is it true? I said NO! He told me better get ready since top management raised this issue up and also I still single, they'll think I can work anywhere anytime.

I just do every tasks that given to me, and I just want to make sure everything done in order, it's my responsibility, it doesn't mean that I'm happy to work here. I still not ready to work permanent here, I still got many personal and family matters to settle in Malaysia.

I know if I permanent here will be very good for my future career as we are doing a 'World Class' and the 'Largest' project here. Now I really lost, I still can't let go everything in Malaysia, once I let go I'll lose many things, if I choose permanent here, I just can earn a little bit more but I'll lose my happiness.

All I want is just a simple and happy life, I never wish myself to be rich, at least no financial problem, but the happiness is always my dream. Don't tell me money can buy happiness, that's a bullshit!

I'm Lost!!!

Dubai Working Trip Confirmed

Just got my flight confirmation on Monday, I'll leaving Malaysia on 29 August (Wednesday) 4.20pm. I still don't know when only can come back, the flight ticket due date is on 25 October. I may come back earlier than the date but just depend on my work when can be done.

Before got the chance to go overseas for work, I always feel wanted to go someday to gain some good experiences. When after I really got the chance, I felt like something border me to go, maybe my working company gave me too short period of notice to let me know I have to go, other factors are I still got my family's commitment over here, my good friends and etc...?

Why is this kind of feeling can happened on me? Is that normal? Or is that I worry too much? I hope nothing bad happen here when I'm not around. I really gonna miss you all so much.

Counting Down...

**************************************************

After got to know when have to fly off, I called up my mum to tell her my flight schedule, then something funny happen in the conversation, our conversation was in our mother tongue which is 'Kwong Tong Tai San'...

Me: Harlow... (sound like prawn man)

Mum: Yee low (2nd brother because I'm her 2nd son)... Zhu yok low (pork man)... Kwai low (English man)...

Me: Nguai hai Hamsap low (I'm a pervert)...

Mum: Cheh... Ni dak meh? (You can meh?)

Me&Mum: Wakakakakakakaka....

So, that's our beginning of the conversation, I got my humor sense all thank to my mum who teach me that secret kung fu... hahaha

Wakakakakaka!!!

Remembrance A Poor Kitten

Last Saturday my old friend and his girlfriend found a poor kitten in the condo area I stay, this poor kitten is just about 3-4 weeks old. They found it at the car park and the kitten looks so sick there.

According to a security guard, this poor kitten lost it's mother which suspect died and then bullied by other adult cats. I can see it injured so badly. My friend decided to send this poor kitten to SPCA (Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) in Ampang, but the guard told them the kitten can't survive longer. We don't care so much, at least we put some hopes to this poor kitten. Then my friend feed it with some cat foods and milk to make sure it is safe.

The next morning they send it to SPCA, and I got the bad news, the person incharge in SPCA told them the poor kitten was having very very bad trauma, cat's flu and serious internal injury. There is no hope for this kitten to survive, it only got two choices, one is dump at road side and let it die slowly, another option is they will give injection to this kitten to 'sleep' forever.

Hell... they got no better option so just leave the kitten for injection, we don't want to dump it at road side to suffer any longer more... That's really a bad and sad news to everyone. My friend's girlfriend cried for the whole day because of this. Sigh...

The poor kitten

May It Rest In Peace... :(

To My Dearest Mom...

I know you don't know what is blog, I know you don't even read blog, I know you don't understand English. All these years what I feel about you I just keep in my heart, but since I started write blogs, I just want to express my thought and feeling here to you.

You were born in a poor family, you sacrifice your education in early age for few types of work just to support the family, if this situation turns to me, I don't think I can do it. Until now you still working part time as tailor just to support the family. I really shame on myself, you are already in retirement age, why you still work so hard for us?

Although you're not complete your education, but the knowledge you have is really far better than many people who got higher education. Your most valuable knowledge you got is to educate me how to be a good human. I'll always remember it for my entire life.

I don't blame you are not rich, to me you are the riches woman in world to show how much is your love to your sons. You never give up to care of us no matter how bad we did in the past or present. I know you always said you gave up, but I can feel your heart is never give up.

I remember when I was a kid, everytime I get injured, hurt, illness... You were the first person to worry of me, take care of me, and gave the best to me.

I really miss the moment you cycled me with the old minibike to kindergarten, and to everywhere. Now you can't cycle anymore because of your legs problem, my heart is really hurt that you can't walk much now due to you overloaded work during you were young. Why you must suffer this kind of pain? Why not me?

You never really beat me up in my life, only once which I really did a very stupid mistake, I really regret with that mistake. You only scolded me, advice me... I'm very sorry I yelling back on you when you did it to me when I was a kid. When the time I growing up, I only knew it was only for my good.

Your cook always the best to me, I couldn't find any cook better than you. I remember everytime my birthday, you will cook my favorite fried chicken and boiled red eggs to me, as my birthday special meal. We don't celebrate birthday in such party style but with that only fried chicken, I'm really happy with it.

Now I'm far apart with you, everytime when I went back to visit you, I can see how happy you were, but when the moment I went back to KL, I can see how sad you were. I know you miss me, in fact I really miss you too! You told me not to come back for my career because you want me to develop my career in this big city. I really want to bring you and dad along to this big city and stay together, but you both wanted a peaceful life there and also still need to take care of my brothers.

I promise, I'll do my best to give you a better life. I know no matter how much I pay back, I still can't pay back whatever you've sacrificed to me. Your sacrifices are the most valuable and priceless to me, I'll never forget all of it and will always appreciate it. I couldn't ask for more from you anymore.

Do you know everytime when I had nightmare something bad happened to you, I woke up straight and cried for the whole night. I really don't want anything bad happen to you. Everytime I pray to god, the first place I always asked god to keep you safe and healthy all the time. Damn... I'm crying now... My first time cried when writing blog.

You are the only person I can trust and you are the only person know me well from toe to head. You are the only person I talk to most of the time, we jokes, we exchange ideas, we share secrets, and we gossips too.

Mom, I just want to say that no one can replace you, you are the most beautiful woman I ever met in my life. You are my one and only Mom in my life.

Our family never say 'I Love You' to each other before, we just did by actions. This time I want to break the tradition, I want to shout to the world that...


I LOVE YOU MOM!!!

Happy Mother's Day To All Mothers...