Lao Hiao's 3 Wishes

Lao Hiao (Old Pervert) live in a village and never been into city, he is a farmer and never go to school study at all, he only can speaks Chinese and abit of Malay languagues. One day, Lao Hiao tried to explore into deep jungle to find a suitable land for his plantation. While searching, suddenly he saw a small cave, then he went into the cave and check it out what is inside. He found an old Bomoh (Witch) was inside there...

Then Lao Hiao was so scared, he thought he saw a ghost. Then the Bomoh said "oik! Lao Hiao... jangan takut, gua ni orang baik!" (dun scare, I'm good person). Then Lao Hiao asked "majiam mana lu tau nama gua?" (how u know my name?). Bomoh answered... "gua ni bomoh la, mesti tau la." (I'm a witch sure I know ur name). Then the Bomoh continued... "lu manyak lucky jumpa gua, sikarang gua kasi lu 3 wishes, gua akan bagi sama lu." (u r lucky to meet me, I give u 3 wishes and I'll make ur dream come true). Lao Hao really no idea what he wants now... then asked... "boleh kasi 1 dulu kah? besok kasi lain pula?" (can give 1 1st ah? tomolo give another 1?) Then The Bomoh answered... "bolehhhhhhh" (cannnnnn). After that Lao Hiao really dunno what he wants, then he said... "haiyah... gua apa lanciao pun mau la!" (haiya... I want any lanciao la!). Then the Bomoh gives what Lao Hiao wants.

Lao Hiao so sexcited oledi, he thought he got everything he wants at home now, so he rush back home and wanna have sex with his wife. When he open his pants, his wife shouted... "ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! apa ni????!!!!! macam-macam lanciao pun ada?" (ahhhhhhhh!!!!! what is this? why got so many types of dick?). Lao Hiao then only look down... he saw he got horse mia KKC la... cow mia KKC la... monkey mia KKC la... tiger mia KKC la... elephant mia KKC la... and macam-macam KKC. Then Lao Hiao fainted.

Next day... Lao Hiao went back to the cave and look for that Bomoh again... he said... "gua apa lanciao pun tak mau la!" (me any lanciao also dunwan anymore!). The Bomoh then agree with him. Then Lao Hiao fast fast ran back home look his wife and wanna have a ush ush party... when he open his pants, his wife shouted again... "ahhhhhh!!!! apasal apa lanciao pun talak?" (ahhhhh!!! why no dick at all?). Then Lao Hiao fainted again.

Day 3... Lao Hiao again went back to the Bomoh for his last wish, he told the Bomoh... "bomoh ah... tolong la, kasi gua balik lanciao majiam dulu-dulu punya." (witch ah... please return me back my dick like last last time one). Then Bomoh said... "ok, ini kali terakhir... gua chaooo!" (ok, this is the final time... I'm off). The Bomoh slowly disapeared into dark, then Lao Hiao felt so sexcited oledi and rush back home and get ready for good sex coz he never ush ush for 3 days oledi.

When he reach home, he told his wife this time sure OK oledi, dun worry! Then hor... when he open his pants, his wife shouted again! Guess what? Because hor... Lao Hiao's KKC back to like when he was born... like a baby KKC.... coz he told the Bomoh want macam DULU-DULU mia KKC ma...


WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

Happy National Day!!!
MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA!

Motorbike vs Guan Gong

Note: This is my another school time joke... but I modify abit to suit the current place I stay now. Person name below just created for fun, nothing related to the same person with the name.

Ah Beng just got his motor license then he requested his mom to buy him a motorbike, so his mom bought him a Yamaha SS 110cc kapcai. His mom knows him like to race around so ask him not to race, Ah Beng promised her... but his mom still worry, so she everyday pray to Guan Gong (Justice Pao if I'm not mistaken).

One night Ah Beng went to race with a kapcai gang at Bulatan Pahang there, unfortunately he crashed, he was ok but the his bikes gone into 2 pieces. He went back home n kena scold by his mom... 'sei chai pao la... ask u dun race u still race, luckily got Guan Gong protect u, if not u won't able to come back u know?!!' Then Ah Beng replied... 'aiya... marder ah, the bike too small for me la, u know my size la... hard to control the kapcai la, okok... I promise u next time won't race anymore, please buy me a bigger bike ok?'

Next day his mom bought him a Yamaha TZM 150cc, Ah Beng so sexcited with it... then his mom more worry oledi, she bought many fruits and pray to Guan Gong everyday...'Guan Gong ah Guan Gong... please po pi (protect) my son ping ping an an (safe).' After few days only, Ah Beng went to race again at MRR2, suddenly he hits a broken part of the tiang... he crashed again... he was unhurt, but the bike exploided.... Booommm!!! This time his mom damn angry oledi, take out rotan n do like Foo Kok Keong jumping smash on his butt butt... 'why u never listen to me ah? ask u dun race u still race... luckily got Guan Gong protect u nia...' Ah Beng still dunwan admit it... he said 'ma ah... the bike still abit small la, cannot control well la... if u buy bigger than that sure no problem one!'

After few days his mom bought an Aprillia 250cc for Ah Beng, she said... 'nah! dun race again ah! if u kena again I won't buy for u anymore.' Ah Beng shake his head n promised her. His mom more worry this time, she pray more hard to Guan Gong with roasted pork somemore. One night, Ah Beng went to Bukit Tunku race with other gang, he did like Valentino Rossi style takes the corner... suddenly got one monkey cross the road, Ah Beng tried to avoid it... unfortunately he crashed n fell into the hill slope... this time, he gone with the bike.... RIP.

His mom was very very sad... then everyday kao peh kao boh (cry father cry mother) infront of Guan Gong... 'Guan Gong ah Guan Gong... why u never save my son? I somemore give u roasted pork u know?' She cried infront of Guan Gong everyday... everynight... Until one day... the Guan Gong cannot tahan already, it comes out with it's horse.... then Guan Gong said... 'aunty ah! Dun kao peh kao boh liao la... u know what ah? When u bought him 11occ bike, my horse still can chase him n save him, when u bought the 150cc... I tekan minyak habis my horse to save him u know? Then hor... when u bought him 250cc... my horse only got 1 horse power la... cannot chase him la! How to save him ler?'

Note: Guan Gong only ride horse ma...


WAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

Puisi Bulan Kemerdekaan - Tagged by Wingz

Perhatian!!! : Puisi ni semata-mata rekaan sahaja, sekiranya cerita di bawah menyinggung perasaan sesiapa pun, saya ingin mendahului dengan minta maaf. Jika anda terhibur, sila kasi credit kepada sifu Wingz gua. Dia yang tag gua untuk menulis puisi ni la... gua ni panai tulis cerita bukan-bukan, tapi kalau puisi... gua mau pi long piak (langgar dinding/hit wall) la, selalu fail dalam sajak/puisi/pantun.

Mula-mula gua mempersembahkan jalur gemilang kita... jeng jeng jeng~~~~~~~



Merdeka!!! Merdeka!!! Merdeka!!!
Tunku Abdul Rahman Hero Kita
Beliau yang memperjuangkan hak kita
Tanpa beliau matilah kita

Terdiri daripada berbilang bangsa
Sama-sama shopping di pasar
Sama-sama enjoy di Bangsar
Hidup pun sama-sama susah

Proton menjadi bangga kebangsaan
Perodua turut menyumbang kebanggaan
Bahasa Melaysia menjadi bahasa kebangsaan
Tetapi bahasa pasar menjadi kebiasaan

Harga minyak dan macam-macam dah naik
Bilakah gaji kita nak naik?
Kalau tidak, semangat kerja pun tak naik
Talak semangat bendera pun susah mau naik

Hari-hari berita cerita tentang politik
Cerita siapa pula kena titik
Ada juga macam-macam kritik
Suruh orang tu makan pisang lepas tu betik

Ekonomi semakin merosot
Sukan kita juga merosot
Keselamatan para rakyat juga merosot
Harap-harap semua jangan jadi sot-sot

Demikian la puisi saya
Otak saya dah lauya
Sudah tak boleh fikir banyak
Harap semua terhibur ya


Now I want tag this 3 peoples...

1. Ang Gu Gu
2. Ah Nel
3. Lan Rambai
   

How's The Motorbike Name Came From?

Wondering how's the Japanese motorbike name like Yamaha Honda Suzuki and Kawasaki came from? Ok... here's the story...

Once upon a time, got 4 motorbike manufactures came out with their 1st ever motorbike but they dunno what's the suitable name for their product, so they decided to go for a test run then only decide about it. So... one day they test run on a race track, 4 of them were line up nicely and waiting for green light.

Red lights were on... then countdown started, 3... 2... before turn to green, suddenly one of the bike jump start!!! So hor... the spectators very angry lor then shouted on that bike, 'KNN... Kiasu ah u? Su Su Ki (go lose) la'!!! So... they named it as SUZUKI lor.

Then the organiser decided to restart the race, green light on!!! One of the bike pickup so fast, over take all the other bikes, then when it turn into 1st corner so nicely hor... suddenly one Ah Pek trying to cross the road, that rider tried to avoid that Ah Pek, unfortunately, he crashed!!! Then the spectators laugh on that rider lor... 'Wahahaha... bodoh la u, got horn use the HORN LA! Why must avoid'? Then the manufacture named it as HONDA lor...

The race carry on... in the middle part of the race, one of the rider dunno how to use the gear, he thought top gear is the most powerful one, so when he climb up a hill slope, he used top gear, then hor... the bike cannot push up, so he came down the bike n tried to push the bike up, but the bike was too heavy for him, then he ask the spectators to help him push the bike up, he shouted... 'Eh... lai help wa... Ka Wa Sak Ki!!! Ka Wa Sak Ki!!! (help me to push up in hokkien)'. So... finally they have to named it as KAWASAKI lor...

Finally, left one bike only, he thought he will win the race, so he was so Lan Si Lan Yong and willy up his motorbike head... Vrooommmm vrooommmm~~~~ and then hor when he tried to put down the motorbike head, suddenly hits a stone on the road n he crashed... the bike rolling then exploide! Then he was so angry he coudn't finish the race and shouted 'NIA MA HAI ler'!!!... So, the manufacture forced to name it as YAMAHA lor...

So... now u all know how's the Japanese bikes name come from?

WAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

Short Form Fun

I was thinking to post it or not long time ago, I sked later all the companies come n sue me then I die la. Now I dun care la... just hamtam on it! Die ma die lor...

Here we go... jeng jeng jenggggggggg~~~~~~~~~

1. MARLBORO = Men Always Remember Ladies Because Of Romance Only
   
2. MARLBORO = Manusia Akan Ramai Lagi Bila Orang Rogol Orang
3. SALEM = Saya Ada Lanjiao/Lubang Engkau Mau?
4. SALEM = Suck And Lick Exicite Man
5. KENT = Kotek Engkau Nak Tak?
6. WINSTON = Wanita Indonesia Naik Stim Tengok Orang Negro
7. DUNHILL = Dunia Umpama Neraka Hidup Ibarat Layang Layang
8. LM = Lambat Mati
9. LM = Lagi Miang
10. ADIDAS = All Days I Dream About Sex
11. ADIDAS = All Days I Dream About Soccer
12. KDU = Kolej Duit Utama
13. MAS = Mana Ada Sistem?
14. JKR = Jangan Kerja Rajin
15. JPS = Jabatan Paling Senang
16. JPS = Jabatan Pos Surat
    
17. DBKL = Duduk Borak Klentong Lebih
18. MPSP = Makan Pisang Sakit Perut
19. MPSP = Makan Pisang Senang Pangsai
20. IPG = Institut Perempuan Gatal
21. JPJ = Jangan Pergi Jalan
22. JPM = Jalan Pergi Mati
23. TPM = Tengok Perempuan Miang
24. BMW = Bas Mini Wilayah
25. USM = Universiti Sex Malaysia
26. UPM = Universiti Pelacuran Malaysia
27. UTM = Universiti Tipu Malaysia
28. UKM = Universiti Kantoi Malaysia
29. OCBC = Orang Cina Banyak Cerdik
30. OCBC = Orang Cina Banyak Cilaka
31. DHL = Delivery Halfway Lost
32. IBM = Itu Banyak Masalah
33. HP = Hari Penat
34. Windows XP = Windows Xtra Problem
35. Windows ME = Windows More Error
36. Gold Leaf = Go On Lie Down Let's Enjoy A Fark
37. MSN = Make Sex Now
38. MARLBORO = Marik Aku Rasa Lobang Burid Oh Rasa Oren
39. SALEM = Saya Anak Lelaki Enggan Melocok
40. DUNHILL = Dua Ustaz Naik Hotel Ingin Locok Locok
41. BENSON & HEDGES = Bachelor entertainment need sucking on nipples & Homosexual entertainment does give extra satisfaction
42. KENT = Kenny (Not me) Enjoy Negro Tits
43. LUFTHANSA = Let Us F**k The Hostess And Not Say Anything
44. JKR = Jaga Konek Raja
45. JKR = Jangan Kerja Ramai
46. JPJ = Jabatan Pengankutan Jamban
47. JAS = Jabatan Anti-senang
48. FOC = Fuck or Cum
49. AUDI = Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
50. BMW = Brings Me Woman but Broke My Wallet
51. FIAT = Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
52. FORD = Fast Only Rolling Downhill
53. HYUNDAI = Hope You Understanding Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
54. SAAB = Shape Appears Ass Backwards
55. SUBARU = Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
56. VOLVO = Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
57. PORSCHE = Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
58. HACKS = Hanya Aku Cinta Kau Seorang
59. HACKS = Hantu Akan Cari Kamu Sekarang
60. BTC = Boh Tat Chek
61. BMW = Break My Window
    

Dang!!! My brain stucked! Actually I still got more but can't think it all now... any idea more? Please give me some... Thanks!

*PS: Words in Italic font are by contributors.

My Photography Art Works

Weekend coming!!! Alright, I'm planning to relax myself, get lazy at home, doing house work, goreng my guitars... TFK/PCC... opppssss!!! :P

Ok la, now let me 'show off' abit my art work la, hope can make u all have a relax n have a pleasure weekend... Soli ah, my photography skills so and so only and I'm semi-retired on it oledi. All pictures was taken with my 1st Lou Poh... Nikon FM10, the cheapest fully mechanical SLR camera for Nikon.

Here we go... jeng jeng jengggggggggg~~~~~~~~~

Light painting technique, I was using LED lights to draw the outline of the objects, then add in some colour with colour filter on the flashlight.

Another light painting technique, different position only.

and another 1.... only the car

again... light painting on my all time 500cc hero, Wayne Rainey.

Kek Lok Si in Penang, during Chinese New Year...

another Kek Lok Si...

lagi satu Kek Lok Si lor...

New year celebration in Kuala Lumpur

Orkid lor...

Memories... collection of my school time class photos... sob sob... so miss school life.

Morning scene at Ulu Yam, Selangor... breathtaking huh!

Waterfalls at Bukit Hijau, Kedah.

another waterfalls at Bukit Hijau, Kedah.

Night Scene near Penang Bridge...

and finally... sunset at Teluk Air Tawar, Butterworth, Penang.

That's all folks, hope u all enjoy my pictures and have a great weekend. I need more rest to recover my leg injury.

Now what? Dinner Robbery?

This incident happened in Seberang Jaya, Butterworth, Penang... gosh!!! Penang again? Why so many robbery cases now days? For your information, this is a very special incident.

The story begins with a family was having their dinner, suddenly got a car ramps into the living hall's wall, look at the pic below:

Hole in the wall

Can see the hole? It's about 120cm wide. Then the robber came down from the car and shouted... "Don't move!!! I wan your dinner!!! Who ask u cook so nice? U know??? I can't tahan the smell oledi so I have bang the wall to come in to rob ur dinner!!!"

WAKAKAKAKA!!!
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The truth of this incident is not dinner robbery la, it's an unsual accident. The driver was an Indian lady about 26 age. She said.... “I accidentally knocked a car and panicked, stepping on the accelerator. I could not control the car and it rammed through the wall of the apartment.” See the pic below...

Hamtam from behind?

Thank god, in this incident no body was injured, just some damages on furniture and a piano. For more detail about this news please visit to The Star.

Malaysia vs USA vs China

Once upon a time, there had a tight fight who’s the strongest between Malaysia, USA and China. So one day… they decided to have a fair fight to see who’s the strongest by beaten up an elephant!!!

So… USA quickly send Mike Tyson to represent the country. China pula send Wong Fei Hong. Then comes to Malaysia… really no idea who to send… no one seems to be stronger than two of them… finally they korek korek and send Ah Beng to represent Malaysia!!!

1^st Round – To make the elephant sit down

Mike Tyson quickly run to the back of the elephant and started use his most powderful left hand to punch the rear legs… he punched… n punched… that elephant still standing. He can’t tahan oledi then full swing his left arm to punch… suddenly crrracccckkk!!!~~~~ He broke his left arm.

Wong Fei Hong and Ah Beng were laughing non stop at a corner. Then comes to Wong Fei Hong’s turn… he jumps up and use his trademark ‘Fatt San Mou Yeng Kiok’ (No Shadow Kick) wachachachacha…. bubur chacha… char koay teow la… and you know wat? That elephant still standing la… and Wong Fei Hong broke his both legs!!!

Ah Beng was so worried… he dunno wat to do oledi… he just pusing around the elephant… suddenly he got an idea!!! He run towards backside of that elephant and squizzzze the elephant’s balls!!! That elephant cannot tahan and finally… it sats down!!! So… 1^st round Malaysia won!!! Hurrraayyy!!!

2^nd Round – To make the elephant shake it’s head

Mike Tyson got no more choice, only can use his right hand now… he punched… slapped… kuchi kuchi… mit mit that elephant’s face, it still dunwan shake it’s head… then he damn tulan oledi and puched the head kuat kuat, guess wat? That elephant still dunwan shake it’s head and Mike Tyson broke his right hand pula…. kesiannya…..

Wong Fei Hong pula only left his two hands to beat it. He have to use ‘Tai Chi’ kung fu pula… then broke his both hand, that elephant still dunwan shake it’s head… finally he use Zidane’s trademark ‘Titt Tao Kung’… till his head bleeding also cannot…

Now… Ah Beng was so confident oledi… he walked near to the elephantand talked something on it… suddenly that elephant shakes it’s head!!! So… Malaysia won again and the final result… Malaysia the strongest!!!

Disccusion

During the discussion between three of them… Mike Tyson and Wong Fei Hong asked Ah Beng how he did it, wat he talk about to the elephant? Ah Beng answered… aiyooo… you all dunno ah? Easy only mah… I just asked that elephant “Do you wan me squizzzzze your balls again?” then that elephant mah shakes it’s head lor and said DUNWAN!!!… DUNWAN!!!

WAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

Ah Beng Looking For Wife

*Source: My Email

Just for pleasure... I think you might read it before from somewhere...

This is a story about Ahbeng in search of a wife with the help of his mother, Ahkew. One day Ahbeng's mother bring home 3 pretty girls and introduce to Ahbeng.

The 3 pretty girls name and occupation :
1.) Ahuey - Telephonist
2.) Ahmoi - Primary Skool Teacher
3.) Ahlian - Bus Conductor

Ahbeng very sexcited lar of course then after a while of

chatting with the girls his mother asked him.

Ahkew : Ahbeng, how ? Which one you like the most ?

Ahbeng : I like Ahlian the most

Ahkew : Aiyoh bus conductor only wor! where got future wan? Ahmoi not bad leh! gomen work you know? good benefit, next time your children wanna goto skool also easy

Ahbeng : Ahmah dunwan laaa!!

Ahkew : Why dunwan?

Ahbeng : bcoz skool teacher they love to say "PLEASE REPEAT!! DO AGAIN!!! I Want it done 10 times...SOME MORE, SOME MORE!" Like this very tiring everynite I can die one ahmah!

Ahkew : aiyoo!!! then Ahuey lar! at least she is better than Ahlian

Ahbeng : Dunwan also! ahmah, she is telephonist la! they love to say "WAIT A MINIT! PLEASE HOLD ON!" dem potong stim lidat ahmah where got mood to make baby la?

Ahkew : Aiyoyo!!! then what u like about Ahlian so much? bus conductor only wor!!! Where got future one ?

Ahbeng : Ahmah you dunno wan la ... I always take mini bus to KL, those women bus conductor always say "BANG! MASUK BELAKANG!!! MASUK DALAM SIKIT!!! DALAM ADA TEMPAT!!! MASUK MASUK!!!" (in yingrish it means "go in behind, go deep inside! go deeper some more! inside still got place!! deeper! deeper!!!) everytime they say lidat i also very sexcited one !!!!

WAKAKAKAKA!!!

*PS.: For those wanna see the original version with pic, please go to wingz's rojaks blog at http://rojaks.blogspot.com/2006/03/ahbeng-looking-for-wife.html

Stupid Robbers

This morning I was driving towards Ampang to attend my final day course, during stucked in the traffic jam, I was so bored then switch on my radio and listening to Traxx Fm 'The Morning Express' tok crap la... They were toking about local newspaper headline news la... got one news I was really laugh alone in my car, my next cars driver all looking at me, why this fella laugh alone? Must be gila one, I dun care... I was just laugh n laugh then I felt shame not coz I laugh... but the news. Because hor... this news will spread to whole world, and people will laugh at us.

The news was about got three men tried to rob a bank ATM machine with a fishing net at Bukit Mertajam!!! That really dem near to my hometown... I was wondering, what kind of kung fu they use? Fishing net also can catch ATM machine? If like dat I wan to do oso ler... Ok... the story begins like this, about 3am there got a lorry and a pick-up truck infront of the bank, then they threw the fishing net over the machine and tied one end of the rope and the other end to the two vehicles, then they pulled the the machine off by using that two vehicles, the machine fell off on the floor then through glass wall and down from 1st floor to ground floor. The crashing sound waken up the Pak Guard. After that they only reliased it's a cheque deposit machine... not ATM la... wakakaka.

See the pic above... it's a cheque deposit machine. I belief this news will spread to the world... sigh... luckily they never paid the parking coupon over there when they park the two vehicles... if not all will laugh till tears come out... WAKAKAKAKA!!!

Crazy Guitars!!!

Last post I explained why I love guitar so much, it really has killer body shape right? Hehehe... This time I want to show you all the crazy guitars I ever seen.... I begin with normal to weird ok? If not you all sure 'catch no balls' hehehe...

Ladies and gentlemen... please let me present you... jeng jeng jeng~~~~!!! Normal six strings guitar:

My hero... David Gilmour from Pink Floyd (Fender Stratocaster guitar with 00...001 serial number!!!)


My guitar god... Jimi Hendrix

How to know is six strings? Ok... let me tell you, just count on the tuning nuts on top part or the head of guitar, can you see got six tuning nuts there?
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Ok... now we look at seven strings guitar, hell... I really confused when play on it. Six strings also cannot play well already how to play seven strings? Gila ka?

My Favorite... John Petrucci from Dream Theater

Can you see how many tuning nuts there? It's seven!!! Really catch no balls how play it.
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Next... 12 strings guitar! It's not much different like play with six strings guitar... the only different is when you play on it, it sounds like two guitars playing together.

12 Strings Guitar

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Now... here come the double neck guitar!!! Don't be so supprise... it's only different setting or tuning or on each neck. Looks cool yah?! Actually it's not easy to play also.

My favorite... John Petrucci from Dream Theater


Michael Angelo

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If each hand play 1 neck... double neck really make sense right? How about triple necks? How to play it? Have to use 1 leg ah??? hahaha... I don't know... let's see:

Steve Vai

Warning!!! Do not try it at home... you may get injured on your... balls!!! Hahaha... kidding la. I think I can't even hold that guitar, coz I'm so small size... sure the guitar will cover me up... hahaha. Eh... can use for prayer ler... got 3 sticks ler... hehehe.
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After got triple necks guitar... do you think got 4 necks guitar ah? At first I didn't believe it... until my friend show me a picture... I was so... ermmm... errrr.... aaaahhh.... speechless... I think that guitarist is an alien, let's see...

Michael Angelo

This fella really can enter into Hospital Bahagia, Tanjung Rambutan liao... tell me la... how to play it? If for me ah... I'll install on top of my car become helicopter and can fly... kekeke.
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Ok ok... no more 5 necks... 6 necks... but I believe it has, just I never seen it before. But lastnight I saja look at weird weird guitar pages... suddenly I saw this... 42 strings guitars!!!

42 Strings Guitar

You tell me la... how to play it? How??? How la??? I can't sleep for whole night just because I was thinking of how to play on it. If I use my both hands and both legs plus my tongue and teeth also cannot la... This afternoon I only got the idea who can play on it... I'm sure you all will agree with me too... here's my answer:
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These all lor... I'm sure they can handle it. Wakakakaka....

Road Signs Story...

This story begins with Ah Tu was riding his motorcycle for chick hunting...









Suddenly he saw a nice big tits lady...








Then they started conversation... Ah Tu showing off all his 'buaya' kung fu to that lady...








That lady started 'high' with Ah Tu and going to get ready...








Then she tried to open her right leg to seduce Ah Tu... Ah Tu was trying to control himself so bad...








She straight away open her both leg!!! Ah Tu see liao cannot tahan already...







Then Ah Tu straight away went into it....









During that time... she meassured his length... (Wow!!! sure or not?)








... and his weight... (walao eh...!!!) Then Ah Tu sang... 'Don't Worry... Be Happy' and 'He Ain't Heavy... He's My Brother'~~~~~







Then they were trying out with various positions...








... and also macam-macam speed...









Until to the end....









Suddenly... she shouted: STOP!!!










She said she forgot to take the pils...








Ah Tu felt so potong stim... then he went back...









After nine months... suddenly Ah Tu received a call from hospital...









He was told he become a daddy already...









He was so shock and felt his whole world were collapse...








In the end... he decided not to ride his bike anymore... he just walk...






Wakakakakakaka!!!!!

Why I Love Guitar So Much?

Wonder why I love guitar so much? I'm not a good guitar player but I do enjoy to see great guitarists play on it. There are so many types of guitar that I don't even can explain it all here, usually it has six strings, some got seven strings too... but not the G-String you guys think about it ok? hahaha... Actually if six string guitar tune into standard tuning is sound as E A D G B E, eh... it really got G-String there!!! But is the key of G... hehehe.

Actually I love to play drum and I was a drummer for my primary school band. Since the drum set is so costly and takes a lot of space, so I switch to learn guitar. My best friend influence me alot to pick up learn guitar, he is a guitar teacher in a music school now and also my 'sifu' (master) in guitar. Guitar really is an unique music instrument, just like what Buddha said... when the string is too tight, it will breaks... when the string is too loose, it has no sound... so you must tune into the right tension to get a good melody sound. (Correct me if I'm wrong)

Another thing why I love guitars? Try to look at the guitar shape, does it looks like a woman body? hahaha... look at this...

and compare with this...

My Guitar Collection

Can you see the similar shape? I think my guitars shape are more killer than the upper picture, hahaha... As I'm a loner, guitars will be my best 'partner' to cheer up my boring day... another one, I can 'molest' it anytime I like and it will gives you any sound you like... hahaha.... I think I'm crack already.